Care and Feeding: How do I move forward in a relationship where mutual respect seems impossible?

Dear Care and Feeding : How do I move forward in a relationship where mutual respect seems impossible? I hate that my elderly father and I can’t find a way to respect each other and share even a fragile peace.

Your elderly dad won't agree to family therapy or any meaningful intervention, so it's on me to come to terms with this.

Mother-in-law offered to come over and be with her husband for at least part of every day until I was “feeling better” Husband has been working with a counselor.

He doesn’t want his immediate family (mother, father, sister) to know anything because they can be overbearing and intrusive.

If your mother-in-law has a key to your place and is inclined to use it without permission, the best, most effective way to shut this down is to say, "Thanks so much for this kind offer" If she’s pushy enough to insist that he make you accept her help, he should tell her it isn’t necessary.

If she wanted to include you in the dinner, she would have invited you.

Back away from the celebration she has already planned for herself.