Here are the decrees, orders, and half-baked whims of my very own tyrannical rule

Francesca Fiorentini has decreed the first 17 orders of her tyrannical rule.

Failure to obey the following will result in seven months ’ hard labor, at $ 30 an hour, the new federal minimum wage.

Fioretntini: All medical and mental health appointments and procedures are free of charge; however, you will be polygraphed.