Care and Feeding: I’m not a baby or toddler person, but I feel like a babysitter when I’m invited to hang out with friends who have toddlers

When I’m invited to hang out with friends who have toddlers, the toddler is always included on the same level as the adults.

The parents never say no to the kids, never tell them to play on their own and don’t entertain guests.

Try to change the parameters of your visit: Go over later in the evening , maybe see the kids for a bit before they go to bed.

My father loves his grandchildren, but he and my son are not particularly close.

I worry about my son seeing his grandpa verbally abusing his wife or me, or seeing his dad let it happen without comment.

I’m also conflicted about getting my son to visit, because if they spend a lot of time together now, my son will remember his grandfather like he is now.

I want to know how much I love her son, without overstepping and getting him something that she wants to be able to give him some day .

Is it okay for me to just ask her or is that too presumptuous? I think it's totally fine for you to ask.