I masturbate, and I start to think about the quality of the orgasm. Why does this happen? —Dear How to Do It?

When I masturbate, my brain kicks into high gear, I start to think about the quality of the orgasm, reconstructing what I did to make it great or not great.

I start thinking about a problem at work I need to solve, what I'm doing for the weekend , and so on, even while I'm still feeling it.

Dr. Monnica Williams , author of Sexual Obsessions in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Step-by-Step, Definitive Guide to Understanding, Diagnosis, and Treatment, she says.

Is fisting safe? It can be if done properly, but it comes with risks in both the long and short term.

There are guys who absolutely love fisting and find connectedness through the act, in spite (and in some cases because) of the risks.

If you really want to dabble, I suggest bringing in a fisting top who can show you the ropes.

You don't have to refer to it as a cock ring. Tell her it’s a bandanna ring or a napkin ring. Be vague and call it jewelry or a ring. Obfuscate entirely: “We left something behind.” Decide what terminology is least uncomfortable for you.