Dear Care and Feeding: My wife is hyper-focused on her daughter's behavior. What should we do?

My wife tends to be hyper-focused on Alice ’s behavior, particularly toward her.

She grew up with an abusive father and a physically and emotionally absent mother.

I’ve spent the better part of the past four years in therapy, overcoming my own issues as the only son of a single mother, with a father who abandoned us.

Your job in this situation is to be Alice ’s other steadily loving parent.

Your wife would be doing her own healing in therapy, but if she refuses to see a therapist, the answer is not for you to step into that role.

One cannot expect any two siblings to behave, think, or feel things in exactly the same way.